For those of you who REALLY know me, being clean isn't always my thing. I don't know what's happened to me over the years because I use to be the biggest clean freak I know. I guess laziness has set in early for me. But in light of recent events I've pondered on the idea of what true cleanliness is. Not in a since of being OCD and spending 8 hours a day washing my hands (totally saw a girl on TV who really does that) but like living a pure life.
I'm no where near perfect and I could tell you the names of some people who would love to tell you how horrible of a person I am and that really set in for me this weekend. The idea of little girls looking up to me scares me to death. If they could look in my personal life and see all of the darkness I've allowed in, they would run away and never return.
I've made the grave mistake of letting some dark things into my life and they have done NOTHING but bring me down over the past couple of years. My life (although to many of you) may seem bright, promising, and fun; it's really nothing like that. Now am I saying I'm hopeless, of course not. I don't believe that ANYONE is EVER hopeless. The idea that people can change is something I embrace with everyone in my life. I've seen people who have been at the lowest of low and now are on the strong road back to recovery.
I too am starting that journey. I want to make things right in my life and start living for what I know is right and what isn't right right now. I believe this can be done in three ways in which I will embrace: spirituality, mental and emotional stability and physical acceptance. These components make up who I am and I've denied what used to be the biggest part of my life, spirituality, and because of that the others have gone out the window as well.
So here's to new beginnings in the hope that I get my life back on track to what it use to be.
If you're wondering where my inspiration came from just read Proverbs 3:5-6. It will encourage you to no end.
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